my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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