never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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