Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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