dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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