You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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