I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Terrible idea I love it
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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