took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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