sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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