how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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