I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
