i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
