i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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