Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
