Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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