I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
