4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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