The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
