You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i dont even know how to be here
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
