Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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