I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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