i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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