i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
