I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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