my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
