My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
