Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
