you're like a bully in the Christmas story
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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