Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
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he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize