Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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