i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
