We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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