Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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