I think i sorta joined a cult last night
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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