grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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