you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize