if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
it was like eating out sand paper
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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