This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
