ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
