Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize