i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize