he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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