Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
