Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
love makes seman taste better
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
