im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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