Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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