Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
