you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
