Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Let's get the cat blown out
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
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