My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize