So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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