I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize