True but thats because hes a fetus.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
