where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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