I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
