Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
