I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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