I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
